Colony Wiki: Favorite Onion Articles For July 15, 2008

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  • Heaven Less Opulent Than Vatican, Reports Disappointed Pope
  • 5-Year-Old Wants To Be A Tractor When She Grows Up
    • Garretson, who turned 5 in May, developed an interest in becoming the powerful motor-driven vehicle during a recent trip to her grandfather's farm. According to sources, the young kindergarten student made her decision based on a number of key factors, including her desire to have "big wheels," make holes in the ground with "a digger," and chase birds and butterflies through fields of sunflowers.
    • My 5 year old wanted to be a vacuum cleaner when he grows up....
    • Scene from the movie Crazy People - Dudley Moore asks insane asylum residents: "Who wants to be a fire truck?" - Response by all: "oh oh oh oh! Me! Me!"

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